OK. So before I try to explain what this blog is about, let me first tell you what it is NOT.

I am not affiliated to any group, sect, cult, religion, posse, boy band - whatever. It's just me. Talking. Thinking. Feeling. It's relaxed. You won't be asked for money, because I'm not selling anything. You don't have to join anything. There's nothing to join. There's no agenda. I have none. I'm interested in my existence and my soul in the same way as, I guess, you might be interested in yours.

I think mainly this means I don't promote or indulge any belief. I want to understand something of life through what I know and can feel and understand with a sense of reality, so it is about self-knowledge. Together, we aren't going to believe in anything. The world is full of conflict that is about belief. Nobody every argues about things we know. So this discussion is not about worshiping anybody or obeying some philosophy or  dogma - and it is certainly not about a pedestal for me - I'm documenting my journey and am learning myself from the ground up - it's about feeling. Its about what seems to make sense based on what we know. I want to understand myself and my connection with life; the nature of peace, the nature of my existence, and how we - as living beings in a difficult world - can connect better with our selves.

Now, as you can appreciate, this is HARD. It's difficult to discuss anything in this space without sounding like an evangelist for something or other, because as soon as you place a label on something then people want to categorise you as belonging to some gang or other, so I'll try and stay independent of any loaded terms.

The interesting puzzle I'm talking about here is the one I've faced myself. I don't believe in a God and I absolutely refuse to put my trust in some guru or other who will tell me what to think. This being the case, it is about self-discovery. This makes any 'group' of like-minded people rather odd, because each and every personal philosophy has precisely one member, knowing what he or she knows about themselves - one person, knowing himself. So I am attempting to make a group of like-minded people from those who are wise enough to refuse to be included in a group. All together, we shall reject groups, as a group. That's supposed to be a joke, but it really is the thing. I am sure there are many, many people out there who don't want to trust their inner selves to some guru or cult or group, but who do want to learn more about themselves and inner peace and learn about the ancient methods of connecting with their inner selves and finding fulfillment. So I want to help people to look inside themselves without having to trust some Elevated Other.

Why do this? Well, I am on this journey myself. I do not believe in God, but I do believe there is more to us than meets the eye - that there is a 'spiritual' component to our existence (that's one of those loaded terms I was talking about...). I have lost family relationships to cults, so am not interested in joining someone else's programme, and believing in a God is something I will do the moment there is some evidence. Until then, I want to think about solid knowledge.

So I want to find out what people mean by inner peace, contentment, fulfillment, the 'inner eye', meditation, spirituality, the soul - and I want to think about it and take it somewhere. If I can share my experience in ways that help others to journey 'safely' for themselves, then all the better.

So, as it stands, it is simple. We are going to discuss the nature of peace, existence, life - and how we can feel content and fulfilled in and of ourselves. And if I am trying to get anyone to DO anything, it's to think about what is said here to find what's right for you - in and by yourself, for yourself.

As I write this, I have no idea where it might lead, or even if anything above makes sense, but I'm enjoying doing it now, so it's working already, and all I can say is, I sincerely hope you can get something out of it.

David Baboulene

The Search for Peace

One of the main puzzles that set me thinking all this deep and meaningful stuff was this: How can it be that we all want peace... and yet all over the world there is conflict and war? Every human being, as part of their fundamental make-up, wants peace, and yet people don't bring peace to each other. Why would that be? I've travelled the world, and everyone I've ever met wants peace. Even those that cause conflict think they are fighting to create peace. We - the human beings who all want peace - have created a civilisation of incredible communities - and yet, the corporate need for peace doesn't bring peace. Go figure.

So, my question to myself was, if I want peace, where can I find it?! If I'm going to Know Myself, I need to find what works for me.

Is peace out there in the big wide world? Nah - for some reason, the world is full of conflict, and it isn't in my gift to fix any of that. Is it in my partner or children? Hmmm... kind of. It might be a good feeling to be amongst family, but it's not real 'peace' you get from them, though, is it? It's a form of peace, and it's love, and it's good, but it's not 'peace' in the sense that it can go beyond those boundaries. It's safe, but it's not 'peace'. Is peace found in your friends and neighbours? Nope. They all want peace too, but let's be honest - they can't find it by being with you, either.

So let's follow some logic here. What do we do when we want some real peace? Traditionally we head somewhere quiet, and we look to be alone. Even if we are with someone else, it's shared introspection and we don't talk. It is in these quiet, calm places when we are alone that we find peace. But peace isn't defined as the absence of noise. Nor is it simply a lack of violence. We need to take ourselves to the next logical step, getting further and further from the hubbub of the outside world, so where do we go next? We sink into our own minds. We screen out more and more of the outside world, and focus more and more on our own thoughts and feelings. So if peace is when we are quiet and alone and thinking introspectively, where is peace?

It is inside you.

Pure peace - the type we crave and adore; the type that is a feeling we want more of - is in yourself. It's at your core. It's at everyone's core. Not just somewhere calm and on your own but inside you. True love - the greatest, most pure love, is also inside you - your love for yourself is the purest and most reliable - and peace is the same. The peace you give to yourself is the purest and the most definitive and most reliable and perfect peace.

So how do we connect with real peace? Well, presumably, we become skilled at screening out the stimulation of the outside world, and getting deeper into our selves. Introspection. It's in the meaning of the word.

So my guess is that to find real peace, you have to stop looking 'outside' for it. If you look outwards, at best you will find a calm place to be alone, and at worst you will end up one of those people who is 'fighting for peace', but you won't find real peace. For that, you have to rely on yourself and you have to know that the finest peace is something you can give yourself and that you can find in yourself. How lucky that it is in our own remit to provide peace to ourselves, because it is therefore in our power to give ourselves precisely that.

I accept this logic. When mystical eastern types talk about a third eye that looks within, and they use it to find peace, I, for one, am happy to accept this makes 'logical' and emotional sense. You have to close your eyes to the outside world, and open the eyes that turn inside.

I've done a little research in this area and am going on two courses to learn two kinds of 'introspection'. I don't want to use any of the loaded terms, so that's what I'm calling it - introspection - because I'm not joining any religion or group or affiliating myself with anyone - I'm going to take what it can do for me.... walk away, and think about it as part of Knowing Myself.

I'll let you know how I get on.